


Only if for a night

by keita52



Series: An absolute tiger between the sheets [8]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Declarations Of Love, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 21:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12826470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keita52/pseuds/keita52
Summary: When Morrigan comes to Beleina Tabris with the proposal of the Dark Ritual, it makes Tabris confront her own feelings about Loghain Mac Tir.





	Only if for a night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thegreatandpowerfultoaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatandpowerfultoaster/gifts).



> I used my own Tabris for this :) Hope you like her! Thanks to the wonderful zoetroepe for the beta.
> 
> Title from Florence & the Machine.

Beleina Tabris stared at Morrigan and felt the pit of her stomach drop to the floor. “You have _got_ to be kidding me.”

Morrigan scowled back at her. Theirs had never been a close relationship — more mutual respect and shared goals than actual affection. “I do not jest about this. ‘Tis why I joined you in the first place.”

“Oh, that makes me feel _so_ much better,” Tabris shot back, barely resisting the urge to slap Morrigan. “So, let me get this straight. Riordan says that a Grey Warden has to die in order to slay the Archdemon. He kind of knows what he’s talking about, being the most senior Grey Warden here. _You_ say that some kind of magic sex ritual with Loghain will make it so that no one has to die.”

“That is the sum of it, aye.”

“And you haven’t approached Loghain because …”

“He is a soldier first and foremost, whatever else he has been these past decades. You are his commanding officer. He will listen to you. He does not respect me enough to do it on my say-so.”

Tabris scowled. “I’m not so sure he will listen to me.”

Morrigan gave her a searching look. “I think he will,” she countered, and the confidence in those words made Tabris wonder what she’d been missing. “At the very least, you might try.”

“That assumes I’m willing to go along with this.”

“Are you so eager to die, then? Or to have Loghain do it? There are certainly many who might think that a just punishment for his crimes.”

Tabris was not one of them, which she rather thought Morrigan knew. Silence fell across the room as Tabris alternately stared at Morrigan and the walls behind her.

“‘Tis your choice, in the end,” Morrigan said, when it became clear that Tabris wasn’t going to speak again. “If you agree and convince him thusly, have him come to my chamber. If I do not see him, I will know that you did not agree.” She turned and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Tabris went to her bed and sat down, putting her head in her hands as she tried to take stock of it all. What Morrigan proposed was madness, surely. Except that a part of her refused to see it that way. Morrigan was odd, but she never did anything without a reason. Besides, who in their right minds would propose something like this _just_ to mess with someone else’s head?

Her thoughts continued to wind around in circles for a few more minutes before she could even begin to acknowledge a very real, very meaningful problem she had with the idea of Morrigan and Loghain having sex.

_It should be me._

There. She had thought the words. No taking them back now. No more trying to pretend that she felt nothing for Loghain. _Loghain Mac Tir_ , of all people. He had tried to sell _her_ people, her friends and neighbors, to the Tevinters. As slaves. He had caused the mess at Ostagar, thrusting the mantle of leadership being thrust upon her, the very newest Grey Warden.

Except that Tabris had never been able to blindly hate him the way Alistair did. (Her heart still ached when she thought of his vicious words towards her, when renouncing the Grey Wardens.) Blind hate had been a part of her everyday life as a resident of the Alienage. Humans hated them for no apparent reason, so many of the elves hated the humans right back. Hate had gotten Nelaros killed, had gotten Shianni raped. And yes, hate had lead Tabris to kill Vaughan Kendells, something that she still could not bring herself to regret, even for an instant.

She could almost curse Morrigan for bringing the topic up, making her come face to face with her feelings. Except … the realization felt like a burden being lifted from her, a weight off her chest.

Which promptly came crashing back down on her when she realized she had no idea how Loghain felt about _her_.

Tabris sat down and put her head in her hands, trying to bring her churning emotions back under control. Or a semblance of control, at least. Because she did still have to go talk to Loghain. Regardless of what he felt for her, she _had_ to put Morrigan’s question to him. She didn’t want to die, and she didn’t want him to die either.

Eventually, she stood and looked at herself in a mirror, took a final breath to compose herself, and walked out the door.

A few servants bobbed to her as she passed them, which was probably _never_ not going to be weird, but that was a matter for another time. She paused outside of Loghain’s closed door, hands clenching into fists. Then she knocked.

“Enter,” Loghain’s deep voice called, and she walked in. He had been sitting at his desk, but he rose when he saw her. “Warden. I wasn’t… was I expecting you?”

“No,” she said, and took a seat in the plush chair across from his bed. She brushed a stray lock of her brown hair away from her face. “Morrigan came to see me a little while ago. She had a rather … interesting offer for me.”

Loghain snorted as he reclaimed his seat, turning the chair slightly so he could face her. “Would there be any other kind, with Morrigan?”

Tabris had to smile at that. “Perhaps not.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, this request concerns… you.”

“Me.” His tone was flat, his expression an invitation for her to explain further.

“She... she says that there is a ritual that can be performed. Tonight. That will make it so that neither of us has to die when we face the Archdemon.”

“I rather thought that was already the plan. Riordan volunteered to take the final blow.” Loghain frowned. “Not to mention that I can’t see her doing this out of the goodness of her heart. There must be something in it for her.”

“There is.”

Loghain bent forward when she didn’t elaborate, his frown deepening. “And?”

If she told him, he’d never go through with it. He didn’t trust Morrigan. But… “Do you trust me?”

The lines around his mouth softened, and he straightened up. She got the impression that the question had taken him aback. “With my life, Warden.”

“Beleina.” She couldn’t stand the formality from him. “Please. Call me Beleina.”

Loghain looked at her for a long moment, then nodded. “Beleina. I have pledged my life to your cause. I might be an old soldier, but I am a soldier, and I’ll follow my commanding officer’s orders. If you think that this scheme of Morrigan’s is worth pursuing, I’ll do whatever it is she wants.”

“She wants… she wants you. To have sex. With her.” Tabris’ cheeks flared bright red and she looked down at her hands.

“And _that_ will keep me alive? Maker’s _breath_ , what kind of magic does she wield? Warden–Beleina, I said I would do it, but this—!” He stood and began pacing around the room.

“I don’t like it either.”

Loghain stopped pacing and turned to look at her. “You came here,” he said slowly, “to convince me to accept this deal of Morrigan’s. But you don’t like it.”

“I…” She tried to think of something to say that would explain her behavior, and came up with nothing. She swallowed, looked at the floor.

Loghain stepped closer to her, resting his fingers gently under her chin and tilting it up so she was looking at his face. “Oh, Beleina,” he said, and she practically shivered at the warmth and regret in his voice. “I don’t deserve your regard.”

“But you have it nonetheless.” Everything about how he responded was telling her that he _did_ return her feelings. She tried to stuff her nervousness down, lifting her hand to rest it against his cheek.

“I am old enough to be your father.”

“Loghain, we might die tomorrow. Even if you perform this ritual with Morrigan, one of us may still fall in combat.” She took a deep breath. “You’ve spoken to me about your regrets. Would you have this be yet another one?”

His hand came up to cover hers, and then he was bending, and she was reaching up, and the sweetness of the kiss made her legs go weak. Her other arm snaked around his back, keeping him close.

A few blissful moments passed in his arms before he pulled his head back. “Morrigan—”

“Can wait,” she replied firmly. “It is my right to have your full attention and– and stamina.” She blushed, and her embarrassment at the blush only made it worse.

Loghain arched an eyebrow at her. “Are you saying that I could not please you more than once?”

“I don’t know. You’ll have to show me.”

“That,” he breathed, leaning in for another kiss, “I can definitely do.”


End file.
